IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN…someone will question your plant-based diet in a manner that makes you feel uncomfortable. It is just part of life. It may be your mother-in-law or it may be your neighbor. It might even be your doctor. I am not talking about when people ask you questions out of genuine curiosity. I am referring to those folks who ask questions in a way that imply that your dietary choices are not legitimate. The thing to keep in mind is that these individuals are actually doing you a favor because they are helping you to gain clarity on your values. But how to handle the situation when it comes up? Here are a few suggestions to ease the tension:
When to argue: Never. It is not worth the energy. If someone asks you a question that feels doubting of your choices, it is best to simply say something to the effect of “I am making the best decisions for my family’s well being that I know how. If you have some questions about eating a plant-based diet, you may want to visit www.pcrm.org.” Then change the subject. If they cannot let it go, excuse yourself and leave.
Recognize that harsh comments are the result of someone feeling threatened: Those who feel the need to criticize your personal choices are usually insecure about their own. It can be very difficult for many folks to face the fact that their diet is less than healthful and lacks compassion. Unfortunately, I could give you several examples of this kind of behavior.
I used to have a friend whose family was in the race horse business. One day, she invited me to a barbecue at her house. When the event came around, I brought some veggie fare for me to eat as my friend had suggested. My friend’s sister, a professional horse breeder who considered herself to be a real animal lover, was doing most of the cooking. When I went into the kitchen to put my veggie burgers in the fridge, she asked about them and offered to prepare some baked beans without meat for me. Naturally, I thanked her and asked if I could help, which she politely declined by saying she was all set. When it came time to eat, she served baked beans to my plate from a small pot. Right after the dinner was over, my friend’s sister announced that she had served me baked beans with bacon in them. There are some people in the world that will lash out no matter what you do or say.
Use humor whenever possible: I have sometimes found that a great way to ease a tense situation is with gentle humor. If you are able to come up with a lighthearted response to a doubting question, you may be able to avoid some awkward discourse. Here are a few suggestions for a response to the question “Why don’t you eat meat?”…
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“With the economy the way it is, I have to watch my budget. You didn’t really expect me to give up cigarettes, did you?”
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“My fear of heights keeps me eating low on the food chain.”
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“Because burger breath isn’t sexy.”
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“I’m just too nice a person to eat animals.”
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“It’s easier to round up a herd of carrots than cattle.”
Every situation is different. You will simply have to feel each one out and follow your best judgment on how to handle things. What is most important to remember is that none of this is personal and that your peace of mind is more important than anything anyone has to say about you as a person.
I would love to hear some more snappy answers to diet questions if you know of any!
© Jill Powers and The Feel Good Vegan 2010.
Photo courtesy of Corel
Elaine Baeza
January 25, 2011
My favorite response to a critical/hostile comment is : “I have been eating this way for (however long) and I feel great.” Nobody has ever argued with that one so far!
Of course I am 68 and most of my friends in the same age group aren’t feeling so great. And we all know that as we age we are on a slippery slope. But since going vegan last October – I have felt terrific.
JB Powers
January 25, 2011
That is a GREAT response. You must be the envy of your non-vegan friends!
Claire
January 25, 2011
I get so much abuse from everyone and I’ve been vegan for a year and a half now. One girl said, “are you crazy? that’s really unhealthy.” And then when I told her I really researched it, so I knew all the healthiest things to do, she said “you know you can’t have milk or butter, right?”
When people make fun of me (“rabbit food,” or “you wouldn’t be hungry now if you’d had more than salad for lunch”) I tend to just answer “I don’t digest meat very well,” or “cheese makes me fat.” Both are true.
I can’t believe someone gave you bacon. That’s just mean. And really weird.
JB Powers
January 25, 2011
It’s surprising how rattled some people become over vegan diets. I know a woman who went vegan to help her husband who had pancreatic cancer. Now two years later, he is completely cancer-free and people STILL give her grief about eating a plant-based diet. Go figure.
sunhwa
March 25, 2011
There are always some ill minded people trying to spoil your nice plan for better life style. For these kinds of people like the lady who sneaked bacon, your misery, failure is their entertaining pleasure. That’s why the world is full of troubles.